Re:Gamer Spin-Off - DewFoot Valley Voting Day
by Kejmur
Summary: Gamer Spin-off one-shot dedicated towards fun "Re:Gamer" story written by Akallas von Aerok. In this one I present important voting day in DewFoot Valley country with OC characters mixed in.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello folks. It's been ages I created any type of story, especially in english (my first language is polish, english second) so I apologize for potential grammar mistakes or just in overall if I overlook something as my writing skills at the moment may be rusty. Anyway I decided to start writing once in a while certain spin-offs dedicated towards really fun story "Re:Gamer" created by Akallas von Aerok (with his permission of course). If something is canon or not, decision is his. If it ends up canon, you should notice some OC characters from my stories or one-shots there. Or I may with his permission use one of his canon characters in my works. Once I feel my skills are satisfactory, I will jump on my original ideas (mostly plan stuff with Naruto so far).**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing outside of my OC characters. You know all know how copyright and trademarks work, so yeah ladies and gentlemen. Enjoy (hopefully) ;).**

Title: DewFoot Valley Voting Day.

Welcome, I would love to introduce myself and present this part of the story. My comrades from DewFoot Valley call me Gaxif Stonewaller, Deep Gnome Wizard of the Arcane Order and polite gentleman extraordinaire, elite Andalusian magic organization which specialize in collecting all kinds of knowledge and archeology explorations. Everyone recognize me because of strange clothes combination (especially for a mage) dark purple t-shirt and black pants with additional light brown belt to keep all my scrolls and small magical book near myself. I never liked those stuffy standard mage robes and noble clothes disgusted me all of the time. Add to this my bald head and characteristic monocle on my left eye and it was hard to not notice me. I'm also main assistant of our Yordle Head Archmage Alirys Gigget, one of the most fantastic and incredible illusionists I ever met (also one of the most... deranged, but don't say it loud, I want to stay alive, she doesn't take any sort of criticism well) and one of those uncommon citizens which actually bother to move outside of our borders and visit other countries of incredibly fascinating (although needlesly brutal) planet. Unfortunately as much as I love my country I feel like we start to stagnate in isolation and some of our potential enemies start to realize that fact so they recently start to send more and more aggresive scout parties even though we organize on regular basis special training camps to keep each other in shape.

DewFoot Valley, one of the most peaceful places in Andalusia. Of course depending on the point of view, as in our 200 yeard old history we never fighted in any even minor military conflict and only dealt with rare quick skirmishes (which mostly included underground fights with drows and underdark orcs), so we're afraid this peace may not last for long anymore. That's why in five major villages we decided to organize another national direct votings near ancient 5 groups of Gathering Obelisks created by some primal hobbit race in times so old that no one alive remember them. To get back right on the track of my monologue as I mentioned before certain point of view on peaceful department, when you deal with childish and yet amusing rock gnomes prankters and let's say... eccentric in pretty much all cases yordles with other our races being also kind of chill and relaxed when it goes to their lifestyles. Sigh... are deep gnomes the last ones who try to take things seriously ? Well, I complain just for complaining, I love all those buggers anyway, as when needed we unite towards important goals when truly neccesary. Today I feel our history will change. As this time I was chosen to be Main Orator and present my ideas. Of course if we manage to calm some people down.

"Aaargh you annoying hubby of mine, you blew up our workshop fifth time in last two weeks!" "It's time to blast that cave up!" "Noo, Spunky, don't poop there! Bad Dog !"Ugh, that heavy bimber, I feel like shit..."

Ahhh typical cacophony of explosions, complaints, rants and other as ridiculous events which become even more frequent at the voting days. I guess this is our way of stress relief or just fight straight up boredom, especially as we literally call them 'stress relief' days where we metaphoricaly blow the steam up. Although those never last long here, when certain terrifying mother show up, which we call 'Momma Penny' amazing gastromancer cook and one of the kindest women I ever had honor to see (and I live so far 130 years, so I saw more then few things). Although when pissed... those poor guys mauled by those mana chains and threats of spiking food and drinks in her pub again or truly ruthless pranks from hell (let's just leave it at that for the sake of sanity).

"YOU DEGENERATED INGRATES ! GET F*****G SERIOUS AND GATHER AROUND GATHERING OBELISKS OR I'M GOING TO HURT YOU ALL LIKE THE BRATS YOU ARE WITH MY CHAINS AND SPIKE THE FOOD WITH MY NEW RAT POISON RECIPE."

I also forgot that 'Momma Penny' is my mother-in-law and I'm proud to say that she never complains on me. Maybe whine that I'm way too stiff, polite and official (I mostly do it to annoy her, hehe), but I love her and I don't know why people complain on their mothers-in-law. Even if her extreme temper tantrums and the way she inhales food like demon possesed and yet keep perfect figure, how on earth she does it is beyond me although it doesn't bother me at all. Anyway I don't need to mention that after that everyone shivered in fear and gathered where needed (of course direct voting here was never postponed onto different date because of 'Momma Penny').

Anyway today was the day where we may decide if we move out of our isolationistic poltical doctrine and actually participate in world poltics. The act of Opening Orator was forced onto me as I suggested to make those drastic polical doctrine change. I felt nervous as I was never the type good with public speaches, but for the sake of my comrades I must do it.

"Greeting ladies and gentlemen in todays paramount congregation." I ignored groans and complaints. Such formal speeches in our culture were considered annoying and truly not neccesary. It's like to compare it to informal farmer slang on the gathering of lets say human nobles. Ghost tiny smile showed up on my lips, annoying them this way always amused me. I also deserve some simple tiny pleasures in my life. And they know I do it mostly to irk them, but holding grudges over any issue for long time was something that was extremely frowned upon. And brooders, yes those as well. I continued after, removing tiny smile of my face and getting serious again. "We all gather here to discuss an issue of utmost importance. DewFoot Valley start to deal with the predicament of increasing attacks from Underdark forces which start to figure out our underground tunnel placements, while also leading them closer and closer towards us. Also I must mention aggresive and arrogant movements from our northern neighbour Hlynovukas Grand Duchy. This is truly worrisome as in potential conflict in the long run we would loose." I inhaled trying to calm my nervous and continued after."So to get already to the point of my boring monologue as I already hear Samantha snoring loudly behind me." Everyone laughed on that tiny joke and public speaches always unnerved me, so I just sped this up."I must suggest that we vote on removing our isolationism political doctrine and look for potential allies on international scene."

Silence. Some of our kin suspected what topic I wanted to discuss, but most had no idea and in their shock didn't know how to comment this at first. To be honest that silence started to creep me out, it was so unnatural in our happy and loud community that I felt sweat gathering on my body. After next few seconds silence turned out into cacophony of roars and screams. While I was glad that at least half or close to it (if I see it right, my eyesight in daylight isn't exactly perfect) are towards more aggresive politics, while the others want things to stay the way they are. I'm not into potential military conflict, I'm really not, but when I received official report from one of my human friends in Duchy of Transyl-Carpathi and compared simple massive difference in military might. We beat them easily quality wise, but when you deal with 20:1 odds and hear about a rumour of them hiring really strong S-Rankers to blow our natural northen mountain border with runic mages specialists to counter our magical barriers on north, as unfortunately they finally start figure out how to do it. I shivered in fear. If they could manage this, we would be obliterated. Straight up. First one to voice his complaint was Pimyver Marnad, Head of Somorra Forest Tribe and barbarian leader of Ghostwise Halfings. They are famous for isolated community and far more reserved behavior when compared to most of our hobbit races (except Deep Gnomes), so they were always our main sceptics. Ahh and his famous third person way of speach. "Pimyver thinks that Gaxif overracts. We were fine in the last 200 years and Pimyver say that all we need is increase our military training and upgrade our barriers. We will manage". I wanted to present my main report on the issue, while someone who I never expected to voice in their opinion in such case as she pretty much never join in on our discussions. And in a way it made me proud as she was one of my best friends. And unfortunately one of our community pariahs even if no one is mean towards her. It's more about fear aimed towards her, but I will get back to this soon. "Aaah... Souls At The North Are In Panic. Massive Power Inputs Gather Slowly There. My Adorable Dolls Guardians Are Not Happy".

Lemia Odiphinia. As I mentioned one of my best friends and our only Witch Doctor, class which specialize in voodoo curses and doll control. One of several children saved by our rare mercenary groups from random slavers caravan which probably moved their "goods" toward one of slaver countries (Revyola is one of the main suspects) full of exotic hobbit children. Enraged we overseed to save them and moved them into several familities. Many of them managed to recover from the shock of slavery except poor Lemia. She's a small yordle even by our standards (60 cm tall) with empty, haunted look in her perfectly black eyes. The only thing which allow us to read her emotions are her constant smiles, which many of us find creepy unfortunately. She loves to wear black gothic like dress with elegant victorian style hat and massive black crow feather added in. She always carry and hug to get chest one of her several dolls which she may control and change their sizes at will or even change their shape to curse her enemies. Her smooth pale blue skin (pale to the point it's almost white) is so characteristic that we suspect that poor Lemia was experimented on and snow white hair make her unique even in our eccentric standards. Plus her specific way of speeking, strange grunt noises and prophetic or distant way of speech creep out many of us. It's not fair, thankfully she has me. My history in comparison is far more simple - I'm an orphan as both my father and mother died from unknown magical disease. Outside of it my life was fully dedicated towards archeology and magical studies with my marriage which happened 3 years ago. Pretty straightforward. I'm glad that my wife's family fully accept her.

Of course in overall the fact alone that she decided to speak shocked most of us, especially that even if they feared her they trusted her prophetic visions and talks. What I also like about our community is that we are united to the point that our gatherings rarely last more then several minutes, so we avoid so many arguing which is standard in all other places. I expected trouble to be honest, so I'm suprised it goes far more smoothly then expected. This still provoked some shouting, whispers and grunts, but 'Momma Penny' always knew how to keep them in check. "Pimyver still think that we shouldn't do anything, we..." Someone interrupted him which forced annoyed grunt out of him. Smooth, deep and calm voice of Merbin Davfire, our resident StrongHeart Halfing Monk of Calm Wave Temple which weared only baggy blue trousers and naked scarred torso, which he gained in several "tests" he gained while fighting his whole life our wildlife in all our environments (desert, mountains, forests to name few). Of course outside of those trousers and trademark bald head which is neccesary requirement in their temple, he carries absolutely nothing to point out truly simplistic way of life of the monks. He smoothly stated. "Calm down my friend. I may be blind, but I feel restless in my meditation, which never happened before in my life. Plus I know that most of us are hotheaded and restless, but I'm pretty sure Gaxif wouldn't mentioned this if situation wasn't grave". Indeed, he is also blind since birth and no one exactly know the reason why. This silenced people around except "The Maniac" Jeremiah, out alchemist/grenadier bomber and comedian yordle. "Hahahaha, this will be a blast ! Let's be blunt folks, we are bored and restless ! We need to make our movement first and stop relying on passive approach ! And if you fools believe in eternal peace, then I will personally stop experimenting ! On my pops cooking mustard bombs recipe!" Gasps of shock and disbelief followed that declaration and murmurs started to intensify with more people convinced to follow more aggresive approach. We were always spontaneous and followed our gut feeling and instinct more then logical path, but I needed to make that final push.

News was grim and I'm pretty sure it would convince everyone. I coughed, silencing the crowd and presenting the report. "One of my trusted human friends from Duchy of Transyl-Carpathi reported to me that Hlynovukas Grand Duchy plan some truly aggresive move towards us. While this wouldn't be alarming, alarming are reports on sheer number of their army, which may outnumber us even 20:1, which is to be honest terrifying. But that's not even the worst fact – they planned to hire some extremely skilled Runic Mages to counter our barriers and plan to release unknown number of S-Rankers to destroy out natural mountain border at the north. At least, and I hate to say it's the best possible outcome, is rumoured to be a deadly SS-Ranker." What followed after was full out panic and desperate cries. Situation turned into chaos, but the one who stopped that was my happy-go-lucky and friendly wife, which to be honest surprised me. Pinny Sacey, chubby and pleasantly plump teddy bear like rock gnome gastromancer lady which makes you want to hug her all of time. Add to this her cheerful personality, unconditional love towards all types of children, excellent cooking skills (she's scary once she devours food and has one of her extremely rare when compared to her mother temper tantrums, but I never said that) and literal happiness aura which vibrate out of her make me one of the happiest sentient beings on the planet. At the meeting she weared magnificent freckled green dress (her favorite color) with sewed in silver pearls and nice golden medalion with apple symbol atop her neck. Also this time around she braided her dark red almost full beck lenght hair instead of letting it freely flow like she always does. Add to this that Lemia is her best friend, I can't find imagine my life without her. So when everyone noticed her tears, silence instantly followed after. I hugged my lovely wife silently to calm her down, although I could understand her fear. "Stop, stop, stop. It's been ages I was afraid like this. I can't imagine what would happened if they hurted our children, our future and hope. Can we... even fight them ?" She whispered her worries and I needed to stop her sadness, it was truly unnatural here. The one who stopped depressing atmosphere was Xander Osbin the second-in-command LightFoot Halfing Outrider with his loyal mastiff Mastiff Dog Muffin (sad thing is that I'm serious here) simply smiled with that trademark cheshire like smile of his. He had that impressive full of confidence aura mixed in with his relaxed attitutude "Whoa whoa, calm down lads. While we may deal with massive trouble soon, don't worry boys and girls as I'm here ! And Muffin as well ! " Everyone rolled their eyes at his boasting, although suddenly his smile turned out cocky like he knew something they didn't. "I'm pretty sure our brainhead already wanted to confirm that new SS-Ranker which showed up, hah ! They call him troll king Ruto, leader of new Ironwood Clan, strange troll which is famous at the moment as slaves liberator. Already like the guy myself, sounds like an honest type of guy ! Badass is probably just a bonus." He grinned, while I sighed. I appreciated his comment and while his attitude may be tiring, he's another good guy which would sacrifice himself for the sake of his comrades. He jumped from his mount dog and reaarranged on himself full of magical runes brown leather armor mixed in with short military khaki shorts and characteristic small pickaxe. After he mocked me by bowing down, so his black long hair hid his head to let me speak. I rolled me eyes in exasperation at his theatrics. "Indeed, I confirm that it's true. Plus new Duke Christopher Zepolya of Duchy of Transyl-Carpathi is new young human leader with nice manners, level head and friendly aura which looks like a good candidate for potential alliance. If we could gain trust of both countries, we actually may avoid lots of trouble. My ideas were to simply send two six people groups – 3 melee, 3 ranged fighters as some sort of ambassadors and negotiators towards potential alliances, even if we need to invest our resources first and assist them if needed. We prefer to go all-out anyway without holding back." I faintly smiled when I heard roar of approval at my last sentence. Quick voting followed after which approved of my plan. I picked up 5 people to join me in travel towards Ironwood Clan (I volunteered and picked Pinny Sacey, Lemia Odiphinia, Xander Osbin, Merbin Davfire and The "Maniac" Jeremiah Yordle as my company). I picked them all up as I can trust all of them, but I had few specific reasons. Pinny obviously because she's my wife and I can't imagine separating myself from her. Lemia is someone who I want to help find potential new friends in new place I feel pity towards her plus my wife love her. Xander Osbin while cocky, is skilled plus with our original welcome gift (which are our best breed puppies, which should serve their clan extremely well as mount for their smaller races or some other roles) he could train them as a bonus as he is one of the best dog experts around. Plus it made my wife happy, the way she cuddles those puppies was adorable. Merbin Davfire is our one of the more sane members so he may keep some of us in check and he look for potential disciple or two. While inviting "The Maniac" may sound odd, he's excellent alchemist (skill always valued in all places, may as well teach others if you can ignore his quirks) plus we are willing to offer some of our inventions to seal the deal. And myself ? Well outside of duty, I just seek new knowledge and I'm truly tempted to see that new unique clan members. Plus my uncommon archeology expertize is something that they should also appreciate. Also we are all A-Rank adventures with the exceptions of Pinny (she's almost one anyway) and Jeremiah (which is almost one himself). With that unique group the next day we were ready to move and visit new rising multi-race clan.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again ;). In the end I decided to continue this story. I feel like it's going to be nice to go more into details when it goes to my hobbit OC characters. As always you know the drill – this story may or may not end up as canon, so who knows how where this will go. As I said I work slowly on other ideas, but as I said all those Re:Gamer stories are mostly experimenting and trying new ideas before jumping on my original ideas, so I appreciate all kinds of criticism (as long as it's not straight up trolling or raging, I survived years of playing in Call of Duty, League of Legends and Tibia communities, so nothing can move me :D). Also this one will be probably the most positive and lighthearted story, as in overall people of DewFoot Valley are optimistic bunch of fellas. Now let's jump on to the story :D.**

 **Disclaimer: Like always we know how it works – I own nothing except OC characters. Credit to the world creation goes towards Akallas von Aerok, the creator of "Re:Gamer" story.**

 _ **Bold Italics - Thoughts, Inner Dialogue, Angered Voice**_

Normal letters - Dialogue, Story writing (outside of past events)

 _Italics - Reminisce of past events, emphasis on certain words_

Title: DewFoot Valley Ambassadors Travel Time.

The new day approached and I, Gaxif Stonewaller couldn't help but be worried in the end. It wasn't about travel (I doubted we would approach anything more then random bandits, but who knows) but that we wouldn't get a chance to gain neccesary allies in our potential problems. I didn't expect any serious trouble before next 3-5 years as I was confident when it goes to durability of our barriers and natural borders, but in my 130 years of living I learned that you should never assume that everything is goes to work in the end like you want it to work. It's better to assume that something may go off. That rational line of thinking wasn't exactly traditional in our country, so another thing to be uneasy about.

"Bah, everything is going to be alright ! We will show them our awesomeness with mine shining the most of course ! If needed I will swoon their ladies, challenge them in duels full of awesomeness and awestruck them with my awe-inspiring speeches !" Of course Osbin ignored random calls that it would probably turn him into an eunuch after imminent castration or that they would turn him into bloody red pasta, but such "details" never really shook Xander out of his delusions. Recently when he tried to date the daughter of Alirys Gigget he had his ass illusioned to the point where he was afraid the male company for the duration of the month. Out of pity no one mentioned the subject near him and probably many of us wouldn't like the answer anyway. Muffin only whimpered embarrased. Yeah, really smart dog. In a way smarter then his master in most situations.

"Heeeh... Do I And My Dolls Need To Remind You Of The Last... Incident." Lemia Odiphinia sharply mentioned something that no one else wanted to do. Osbin suddenly shuddered and dropped on his knees, covered his... emmm... more intimate body parts and started to shake his head in denial. Low blow Odiphinia, low blow, although he kind of deserved it. Not that a gentleman like me would say it loud, I'm too well mannered and polite to mention it. Oh well, it could be always worse. For example he could self-proclaim himself to be a super pervert, read porn in public, carry panties on his head (why on earth she carries underwear on her face ?!) or call all the women around to spread his sperm and proclaim that Japan will be flooded with his little copies in next 20 years (Where exactly is Japan?!). And mostly – where did those random ideas come from ?! Ugh... my head, it must be a stress.. I really hope so.

"Ignoring that idiot aside..." 'Momma Penny' added while flailing her mana chains of doom smacking certain idiot around with people rationally backing off. "I really hope you will bring out good news ! And I want to see grandchildren so I may cuddle them, spoil them and in overall love them with all my might ! And while we are at it... " I knew that smile too well. We called it 'Sweet Smile of Doom'. It pretty much always meant something dangerous, cruel or full of underline threat. Anyway it screamed to my inner instricts to be on my toes." _ **Don't you dare cheat on my baby or the consequences will be dire !"**_ I shook my head several times in confirmation and didn't dare to object. My wife Pinney Sacey whined, clearly embarred by the whole exchange.

"Mom ! Could you not mention such embarrasing subject in front of everyone ! It's not like my hubby would _**dare to do it.**_ He loves me too much ! Ne, hubby mine ?" She smiled with that full of happiness smile, but I could easily read the threat in case I would try to do something funny with other women. It's not like I would dare, Pinney is the love of my life as cheesy as it sounds. Even if for some people she may sound childish, she's reliable, brave, kind and in overall I wouldn't dare to say anything bad about her. "Of course my dear flower, you are my whole world." Added with confidence and it clearly satisfied them. Whoever fool called me whipped ended up mauled few seconds earlier.

"Ehem... anyway now when we said our goodbyes I think we may just check our equipment and placement of that basket full of our highest quality puppies. Our mount dogs also seem well fed and prepared for the journey. Let the journey begin." Ahhh Merbin Davfire, our pillar or sanity and calmness added cooly and after last goodbyes and promises of sending regular letters we started to move on and began our journey. I just hoped that nothing would happen in the end as I don't think we need more excitement at the moment...

 _6 days later_

So far journey was uneventful and we were grateful for it (except Jeremiah, he already started to get explosions withdrawal syndrome, I would need to think of something soon to keep him calm). We decided to camp and prepare campfire. Pinney decided to cuddle her adorable little pups (we bringed out 10 of them) while talking with Odiphinia, which also appreciated the company of animals but in much more collected and reserved way. I could say it from one of those rare true smiles on her face. When it goes to puppies - while from logistic point of view taking care of them was tiring, but all of them we considered as truly valuable welcoming gift towards Ironwood Clan so it would be worth it in the end. Once we managed to start a fire, we decided to start to talk and laugh with each other. Today my turn was with Jeremiah. Plus I could tell he started to be restless.

"Gaaah ! One more day and I'm going to get nuts ! I need to blow some shit up ! Art is a bang ! Come on... tiny whiney bomb... I even managed to prepared special frag grenade with special mana fuse in." He started to mumble to himself. I felt a bit sorry for a guy as he behaved brilliantly so far. We managed to avoid any aglomerations to not tempt him with blowing something big up and moved only through forests, which while safe, was also boring for us which weren't as calm and collected. I sighed quietly and put my hand on his arm."I swear that tomorrow if nothing happens again, I will personally help you out and let you boom something up. I'm a man of my word after all"I smiled towards "The Maniac" and he grinned with that cheshire like smile.

Oh yeah, I could tell that he was more then eager. While he looked at me, he caught me with his arm and bringed me towards him. I raised my eyebrows in question and what surprised me was his serious look in his eyes "You know buddy, as wrong as it may sound I'm glad we decided to do something and seek help. We really started to stagnate as a nation. I feel like we started to loose necessary instincts and that edge vital to our survival. We lived in peace for so long that in case of truly big surprise attack we would loose. While we are truly well trained, it can't make up for true battle experience, we felt too safe." He inhaled and for a short while silence is what surrounded us. I could tell he did it mostly to collect his thoughts and in those moments I could tell how sharp and smart he is as long as you ignored his characteristic eccentric quirks which are common in yordle race. He continued suddenly.

"While I admit I'm kind of bloodthirsty and you always disagreed with my aggresive approach to many problems and I know that you still do. You always prefered pacifist approach and you wanted us to negotiate with Ironwood for them to help us out with our minimal fighting participation, but I feel like they wouldn't respect us for this taking into account their reputation of skilled warriors. It would look like we try to push our problems towards them and threat them like some sort of mercenaries. It wouldn't work, my gut feeling tells me that." We silently looked at each other. I knew deep down that he was right, I really wanted to path the negotiation this way, but I remembered the words of my grand-master and leader of Arcane Order Ufibus Vomorn which we all called "Grandpa Ufi" as compared to pretty much all of us he was ancient in age (680 years of living give you the right to provide life lessons) and those words where "If you want peace, prepare for war". In the end no matter how much you wanted to just sit around and ignore others, it was impossible in the long run.

"I won't argue as you are right. I remembered words of Grandpa Ufi, that's all. He said that if you want peace, you should prepare for war" He nodded clearly satisfied that I didn't want to argue the point. He laughed after and I smiled in return."Oh come on, enough with those sappy stories. Do you remember when we were kids and we decided to prank people around ? You actually weren't so damn uptight back then..." He grinned while I stomped on his foot in faked annoyance. Indeed, I was certainly quite a troublemaker, it's hard to believe when you look at me today... Although Jeremiah suddenly turned grim again. I realized which incident he remembered and which one showed him why restraint when it goes to his explosive urges was important. I know that he blames himself till this day...

 _115 Years Ago, Jeremiah POV_

 _"Pops, pops ! I'm 15 right now, I'm already big enough to build my first explosive !"_

 _Haha, I sure was one hell of adorable brat back then. So young, full of youthful spirit and full of fresh ideas. I miss those days, when I believed everything would be ideal, nothing bad would ever happen and I could spend all those days in fooling around. Unfortunately back then I learned that sometimes you need to be serious and not lie or you would regret it..._

 _"Bah... I don't know brat, as smart you are my boy, I don't think ya responsible enough." I whined offended, but I could tell that my pops was relentless. He suddenly turned serious and looked into my eyes, which kind of unnerved me."Maybe... but I want to know the reason why you suddenly asked me today." I stopped smiling and with full seriousness answered."Pops, I know that sometimes I'm restless and careless, but I want to show something cool to my friend ! I don't want to use it towards anything mean. It's not towards prank this time, I pinky swear !" I lied that day and it was horrible. I started back then my friendship with Gaxif or at least I believed so as he was the only one who wanted to talk with me. Others were afraid of me as I admit my pranks were truly mean and people avoided me. Stonewaller was the only one who was confident and cocky enough to challange me in everything I did. It was amusing how much we argued and I wanted to do everything to win him in the end. Also, I think it would be far more cool if we actually planned some prank together instead of trying to trick each other._

 _So I decided that creating flour bomb would be kind of incredible and prove that I'm awesome to the point that Gaxif wouldn't resist the urge to befriend me ! Ha, flawless plan ! And in the end it worked. For the first time he looked at me with respect instead of annoyance or challange in his eyes. I knew that he already started studying magic, but he could hardly summon anything truly awespiring. I had an edge this time ! Wow, that look of wonder in his eyes. Haha, hook, line and sinker ! "Hooo, so pops at last allowed you to get a bomb ! Maybe you aren't so damn hopeless... Let's prank someone ! I already have an idea..." He smiled in that mean way of smiling. It worried me as I made a promise to my pops to not prank with it !"Emmm... Gaxif, I promised my pops to not use the bomb to prank someone." He looked annoyed at me, I didn't want him to look at me like this ! "Don't be a scaredy cat ! Now when you bring something really cool, you suddenly get cold feet... Come on, stop whining !" I gulped and in the end relented. I wish I actually stopped and not follow his plan. Grandma Kiyo, while really batty and annoying, didn't deserve what happened to her._

 _Plan was simple. We slowly sneaked inside Grannys house, looked at her sleeping form (her grandchildren were working, while children died in underdark skirmishes), giggled and caused explosion to scare her off. Problem is that when you are old, your heart isn't exactly that durable. She bolted out of her fotel with surprising strenght, which shocked us when you took into account her age, she screamed and screech Grandma Kiyo released freezed our blood and suddenly... she collapsed like a puppet with cut strings. In our disbelief and terror we started to call for help and tried to do something, but it was too late. Heavy heart attack killed granny in the end. Gaxif received HEAVY scolding and beating, which to be honest was justified. In reparation our families paid compensations. Well, unfortunately me and my pops were too poor. So he needed to take additional underdark patrols. I was terrified what he would do to me and what happened shocked me._

 _He looked sad. Pops showed so much dissapointment in his eyes that it clenched my heart. He wasn't furious, pops didn't even screamed or raged at me. Pops looked at me with that depressed look. "Son... you dissapointed me. You lied to me that you wouldn't use bomb in the prank. You promised..." I wanted to say something, apologize, I shouldn't listen ! But I couldn't. Heavy tears rolled over my face and what followed after shooked me. He hugged me."Jeremiah... you are still young. What you did was incredibly stupid and I'm truly dissapointed, but I feel like it's also my fault. I don't think I raised you well enough, I scolded you for your pranks and yet never punished you for it. I never showed you how mean you are and always blamed it on you being too young to understand. I should provide some examples why this could turn badly. My bad... now I must go, I'm not in top shape, but our country needs me. I must pay off the reparation, it's my responsibility as you aren't an adult yet. Don't cry, it's not your fault."_

 _I wanted to tell him not to go. I wanted to beg him to stop. I screamed after him that he should punish me, scold me, hit me ! But he didn't, he loved me too much, to the point that turning his hand towards him would make him feel like a scumbag. Bug I deserved it ! 3 days later I learned that small bolt from a drow crossbow pierced his heart and finished him on spot. It was the worst day of my life..._

 _Present Day_

"Jeremiah... it wasn't your fault, it was me who forced you to do it!" It was supposed to be peaceful memory from the past and turned into this depressing moment. "And I shouldn't listen ! I promised ! I can't believe after all those years it still hurts like a bitch ! Heck, all of this mess was a reason why you even started to act serious and polite all of time ! We... fucked up. Hard..." I didn't know how to answer that. I promised to pay off part of Jeremiahs debt and it also motivated me to study magic harder and few years later apply towards Arcane Order membership. While he started to actually stop being mean and work hard to respect fathers legacy (mom died at his birth). We both succeeded in the end, but that guilt once in a while hit us hard.

Random three arrows suddenly flew through air and I reacted in time to quickly incantate and sumon **[Interposing Hand]** spell which summoned huge hand out of mana and blocked it. Oooh... whoever attacked us would regret it. We both were in bad mood. Plus I know that Jeremiah prepared hidden traps in front of us. It wasn't his specialty by any means, but in thick forest like this it wasn't hard to hide. Suddenly three humans, which looked like warriors sneered at us with those arrogant smirks.

"Lookie lookie here, hobbits for us to capture ! In Nanamos they pay heavy sum for those little buggers ! They threat them as one of most valuable 'exotic goods'." We sneered at them in disgust. I focused my senses and knew that Xander Osbin and Merbin Davfire were awake trying to sneak up on them. I suspected that they had 3 archers supporting them, but I knew that Muffin had extremely keen sense of smell so he would detect them while Xander and Merbin took care of the problem. Plus I could tell that they weren't that skilled, arrogant fools. I smirked at them and mockingly called them with "come at me" gesture. "Of course I can't wait to see my new home. Why won't you try to capture me, ugly bastards."

Yeah, I wasn't in the mood to be polite. They suddenly rushed towards me (they assumed that as a wizard I'm bad in close range, which is true in a way, but they were stupid enough to do it without any sort of plan). Jeremiah grinned and made a quick hand gesture, while calling **[Grenadier's Arsenal: Stick Grenades]**. Suddenly under their feet, strange looking yellow glue shot up and covered lower parts of their bodies, harshly stopping their movement. After this "The Maniac" bringed out another one and called **[Grenadier's Arsenal: Fragmentation Grenade]**. Effect was... ugly. Grenade full of firepowder and ceramic tiles exploded into small fragments which literally penetrated into their bodies ripping them to shreds while causing massive explosive sound. Ladies suddenly jumped in while Pinney looked really pissed and punched him hard in the face. Lemia was extremely calm (and slightly dissapointed? I guess she wanted some action).

 _ **"Jeremiah, what the hell ! You scared puppies bastard ! Oh..."**_ My wife suddenly looked sheepish once she realized what happened. She didn't enjoy the view as she already killed in the past, but never in such brutal way. "I'm so sorry ! What happened here ?" We quickly explained that those slavers tried to capture us which infuriated all of us. Suddenly we turned the heads towards our monk and halfing outrider which we could tell quickly eliminated the problem. They quickly killed one of archers while capture one of them to interrogate later on. Odiphinia smiled creepily towards one of her victims which scared him shitless, she applied **[Voodoo Curse]** and followed with **[Black Needle]** ability which allow to create a needle of pure darkness to kill off a target and suck it's soul into it. Terrifying once you learn it, although you may use it only once per 24 hours. Scary nonethless. "Aaah... Slaver Bastard Will Now Suffer Inside, He Is Too Rotten To Even Be Turned Into A Doll. My Dolls Would Not Approve". Lemia stated calmly with that trademark smile of hers, which made last alive archer piss his pants. Not that I blame him.

"I'm tired right now. Just knock him out, I'll put bind and silence spells on him so we can move on. Be glad we don't torture as we find it disgusting. Ironwood Clan will appreciate your company though." I said calmly and he turned white as sheet. We only needed few more days of travel, so there was no need to rush with our prisoner.

 _6 Days Later_

Outside of this one bandit incident (we collected heads just in case) we pushed forward and managed to avoid trouble from unpredictible wildlife on Ironwood Clan territory. To be honest it was disturbing for example how huge centipedes or spiders could grow up in this territory. Our prisoner looked horrible, not that anyone cared. Once we noticed a gate towards, we all raised eyebrows in shock. It wasn't that city was that huge (in my standards, rest was surprised anyway) but from my information I knew that city was just 2 years old ! How they managed to pull that off was beyond me. We calmly approached and guards moved their hands towards weapons, but made no aggresive move. Good, they were cautious but not unecessarily aggresive. They were 2 trolls, one looked like forest troll and another like jungle one. But I may be off, I was never an expert when it goes to monster species. One of them looked at us surprised, but he managed to control his emotions and stated confidently.

"Hoh, I never expected to see hobbits here. State your business and explain what is that human doing here clearly ummobilized."

I faintly smiled and entered my full-business mode. I know that my comrades would be annoyed by it, but as I said – acting all proper and polite was my way of pranking them. So I stated calmly. "Welcome gentlemen, it's an honor to acquaint with members of such preeminent clan". They looked at me confused (oh come on, you also don't appreciate manneers ?!) while my companions rolled their eyes in annoyance. Xander Osbin moved beside me and grinned, while slapping my beck, which made me shot him annoyed look.

"Yo folks ! Xander Osbin is here and this waaay too polite for his own good brainhead is called Gaxif Stonewaller. Beside us it's time to present the rest of our happy group ! Pinny Sacey, Lemia Odiphinia, Merbin Davfire and The "Maniac" Jeremiah, nice to meet ya ! I heard about you guys, awesome stuff !" They grinned towards Xander. I sighed and decided to take over again.

"Yes, it's really nice to meet you. To keep it short – we are ambassadors from DewFoot Valley and this human was a part of small group of slavers which tried to kidnap us." They growled furious and I couldn't blame them, I was pissed myself. To the point where my old habits from my childhood showed up. "We didn't interrogate him, but I'm pretty sure you guys wouldn't mind doing it instead". The feral grins they sended me confirmed my statement. I showed them our papers and they nodded in approval. "Sure, nice to meet ya and we will already call for someone to prepare a feast for you guys as we are pretty sure you must be tired after travel. And enemies of slavers are always welcome here !" Once we entered, our shocked faced told the story. It wasn't architecture that truly impressed us (it still looked nice and it took just 2 YEARS to build it, incredible) but all those races. Humans, drakken, fazes, trolls, FAIRIES, SLIMES and several others which clearly accepted each other with no issues whatsoever. Heck, they were friendly to the point like they lived with each other for at least decades ! I heard the rumours, but come on, that was ridiculous. One of the trolls chuckled at our shocked faces and he quickly elaborated.

"Ya see, Chief Ruto united us under one banner and showed us hope. Before his rule we were mostly bunch of monsters living like animals in the forest only waiting to get slayed by some random members of true races or turned into slavery". He genuinly smiled and we could tell he adored his leader. "He may be reckless sometimes, but he is kind and great leader, we couldn't ask for anyone better then him. But of course others tribe chiefs work as hard like Chief Shirou or Chief Senna. Anyway it's time to guide you towards feast hall, I think you want to talk while eating our delicious food." He chuckled and we followed him. We all were amused once we heard a pleased squeel coming from my wife seeing and calling all those adorable children. I could tell that the city was in the middle of massive baby boom. Trolls raised their eyebrows in question, so I smiled and answered. "My wife adore children of all types to the point that she turns feral if someone tries to hurt them. Trust me, it's scary." I shivered, I remember that poor bear which she fisted to death in fury when it tried to kidnap one of them in front of her. We could tell that we already loved this place, it had that similar peaceful atmosphere which we were used to in DewFoot Valley. Once we entered in and noticed all that food, we were again in shock, while Pinney started to drool.

Not that I blamer her, it looked divine and I was pretty sure it tasted as well. What surprised me is once my sweeetheart jumped on food and started to inhale it, most of chiefs gathered in room looked at the scene in amusement instead of shock or disgust. I still felt uncomfortable, so I started to explain the situation a bit startled. "Welcome ladies and gentleman. It's an honor to be in front of honorable members of such famous clan like yours and be able to conversate and watch your city. My wife is a bit... enthusiastic towards food." They chuckled in amusement which I was happy with. "She terrifies me in such moments, but I love her like no one else anyway. If I need to cover expen..." One rough gesture coming from the troll sitting in the throne shut me up. I could tell it was that famous SS-Rank Troll King Ruto. He looked at us calmly at first and exchanged few words with oni sitting on his right. It looked like they exchanged some sort of crucial information. Like they assesed us. Probably I was off, but I felt mana moving in air rapidly for a second or two and it suddenly dissapeared.

After this they all smiled. Genuinly smiled. I felt like we were in the middle of the test and we passed it. It was uncomfortable at first, but I was glad that first obstacle we managed to pass. Troll King stood from his throne and sended one of those characteristic grins. "Nice to meet you. It's an honor to see you as well, members of DewFoot Valley country." I raised my eyebrows, to which he grinned and continued. "Oh we heard about your country from my ally and friend Christopher Zepolya. But I never expected to see you guys here. I heard that you prefer spend your time in your company though." Was it just me or I heard a tiny accusatory tone in that sentence ? I shrugged shoulders, I probably misheard it. I could tell they were honest people, especially in such cruel world like Andalusia. "Anyway let's cut the talk and feast for now ! It's all on us, you guys are our guests ! Plus you must be tired after that travel and you even bringed in one of those slaver bastards ! We may get into serious talk tomorrow !". So we all gladly joined in, mentioned shortly our ambassadors roles and introduced each other. Everyone laughed while they heard Xander Osbin calling Chief Ruto cool and how awesome were things he pulled off. I could tell that they both hit off really well.

Once we finished, Ruto, Shirou, Candy and Senna decided to show us city and guided us a bit around. It was kind of flattering how they personally did it. They also asked about the puppies, we explained it's out present for them. Clearly confused we confused that our culture use dogs for several types of jobs. From riding on them, training them as fighters, trackers or even babysitters. They accepted gift graciously, while we offered the stay and training them.

All of us suddenly turned around when my wife run towards group of little children and called them up with Lemia in tow, while pulling her shoulder. Once she caught their attention, she squeeled in delight and bringed out sweets and hugged most courageus ones. Everyone turned and stared at her, but no one mentioned anything. Well I added in good humour.

"Sweetheart, I'm afraid that you shouldn't bribe Ironwood Clan children with sweets, it may be frowned upon. Not that anyone can resist their taste." I joked lightly and when I noticed how she caught and hugged small troll child, I continued. "And kidnapping is something not allowed as well." She looked at me with those puppy eyes and I barely resisted. And trust me, it was so hard to do. "Oh no no lady, you can't pull off that trick on me. You should be on my side instead, be reasonable sweety..." I pleaded, so in the end she relented, but I could tell she wasn't happy and she cheekily added."When it goes to children and you, I pick up children." Everyone laughed on this and I pouted. Oh well, I was glad that she didn't touch in public the matter of our potential child. It wasn't a problem, it's just... heh, I had all those responsibilities, including Arcane Order, but in the end I knew that I would need to move on and just accept it as I feel like I'm selfish one here. It's already 3 years after all. Ironwood Clan for the next few years look like a nice place to raise a child. If everything goes well that is.

"Aww, you are alll sooo cuute ! My mean husband won't let me adopt you, but no worries ! Come on, let me hug you and spoil you and love you and let you taste my handmade sweets and... Oh and this is my best friend Lemia Odiphinia ! Say hello to her !" Our witch doctor was clearly embarrased and didn't know how to react. One of the children, small red skinned oni girl, smiled and looked at her in wonder. Poor Lemia was so bewildered that she didn't know how to react. Certainly not a reaction she expected anytime soon.

"Woooow, those dolls look awesome sis ! Can you let me hug them ?! Please, please, please, please !" Odiphinia overwhelmed clearly wanted to say no at first, but puppy eyes coming from Pinney and children instantly destroyed her resolve. She smiled that rare genuine smile as she enjoyed that attention no matter how much she may pretend otherwise. "Haaa... Sure. Actually... I May Show Something Better. Stand Back." Children moved back while she called **[Doll Shape: Big Size]** and turned few of her dolls around the size of trolls. Everyone looked at it in surprise, even chiefs which stayed with us. I smiled and explained. "Odiphinia is a Witch Doctor and Puppet Master class user. She has the ability to use voodoo magic to curse her targets with self-made dolls with similar look to their target and shape, manipulate and controll her dolls. It's impressive every single time I see it". I stated all of this proudly. I also was glad that people gave her a chance instead of judging her based on her less then friendly appearence. I was more and more glad with each second that we actually moved here. Kids certainly had a lot of fun climbing and riding on those dolls.

"Ok, children gather around so I can tell you an awesome story !" All kids around started to gather around except one human boy which cheekily stated. "Aren't you a kid yourself ! You look like one of us !" He clearly didn't expect a giggle which followed after. So Gastromancer added. "No no no, I'm rock gnome, which is one of hobbit races. We are just that small. You see, we are like dwarfs or kobolds. Even as adults we are small. But no worries, I adore you all the same !" She moved and hugged him, to which he grumbled in embarassment. Children around started to bombard her with questions on what kind of story it is. When she mentioned that woodpecker is main hero, they were surprised. Some were interested, some clearly just wanted to hear a story and some were a bit dissapointed. So she started to tell a story...

 _Fairy Tail: Brave Woodpecker_

 _Once upon a time in a forest in far far away land lived a group of talking animals. They lived happily together and enjoyed their every day lifes. Parents took care of their children while children had all the fun they wanted with all kinds of toys they could ask for. This is what we would call a perfect place to life. Although unfortunately one day something horrible happened ! One of the adults, the female vixen in panic started to run around and call for help !_

 _No one knew what to do. They tried to calm her down, stop her from running around, but she refused to listen in the end. Once she stopped and finally managed to calm down one of the animals asked her what happened. "Ooh ooh this is horrible ! My baby is in danger" Animals gasped in shock. All of them were worried and moved. They noticed on the other side of the cliff small baby fox which cried for help. Cliff was really wide and deep, so jumping or trying to dive and swim was impossible. There were several huge trees around, so thick that no one dared to do anything about them. Except one woodpecker. The woodpecker just kept tapping onto the tree. Tap tap tap tap tap tap. Annoying sound slided around, while all the animals looked offended on his uncaring attitude. They hated his guts and that he always insisted on his tapping quirk. "Hey you stupid woodpecker, why you keep hitting the tree ! Don't you see that we deal with a serious problem here !"_

 _And woodpecker clearly didn't care. He just kept with his annoying tapping. Tap tap tap tap tap. Animals started to shout at him, curse him and some even tried to hit him with rocks ! But he just kept going and going. When the situation almost escalated into something drastic, one of the trees suddenly started to drop, ideally through the cliff. Thanks to this mother fox could walk through and pick up her baby. Once she looked at woodpecker, she cried in relief and said "Thank you, thank you so much for help. You saved my baby ! I want to apologize for always being so rude to you !"._

 _All other animals also apologized for their earlier mean actions. Woodpecker just nodded, accepted their thanks, but didn't let it get over his head. So from this day onward he just kept tapping into tress and this time around no one shouted or was mean towards him._

Pinney ended fairy tail happy with children liking that story. "Oh this story is something mama liked to tell me when I was a kid. Any one of you know what is the moral of this story ?" Children concentrated and tried to find an answer. Gnome lady looked at them with stars in her eyes – they are all soooo cute even with their serious faces ! Surprisingly the human boy said first."I think that we should never judge someone first before knowing them or what they want to do. Like we should never be mean towards all monsters as we live all here happily together ! Oh and... "He looked embarrased towards Pinney. "And I shouldn't assume that you were a kid just because you are small!" She smiled and hugged him again, to which he grumbled embarrased with red bright cheeks. Everyone kept talking, have fun and guide new guests around the city. I knew that while this day was fun, I knew that hard part was still in front of us to deal with. I just hope it would work in the end...

 **A/N Notes:** Holy crap, I just couldn't stop typing and typing, but I had fun writing this chapter. I presented additional dialogues and presented characters in more detailed with showing Jeremiahs tiny bit of his past. I wonder who will all guess the series which showed up in Gaxif head when he started to thing of worse alternatives for Xander Osbin ;). First two examples are waaay too obvious :D. Anyway enjoy, I will keep writing this story.


	3. Chapter 3

**I apologize for late update here, but I put this little story on hiatus as I have several ideas on some stories and I will present them later on as chapter samples first. Mostly Naruto ones (this universe just clicks in for me) but I also have for example Dexter's Laboratory / Young Justice crossover idea which I think would provide something unique. I mostly do it because I want to hear responses towards my ideas and pick the ones which interest you the most (2-3 stories at first max). Also I'm a guy which prefer infrequent updates. Writing is fun, but I don't want to turn it into a chore and stick to update schedule as I may sometimes to be blunt just not stick with it. I also will appreciate any potential beta helpers once I decide what I want to start with first. Also english ISN'T my first language so this kind of help would be truly appreciated. Thank you and cya around folks ;)**.


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